slayboybunny:

"sir what you did is literally 100 percent illegal"
"ok but get this: im a rich white person" 
"oh sorry about that sir" 

(via relahvant)

wehidebehindstars:

peachvenom:

periods help you learn how to get blood off of things which is probably why you hear more stories of men caught with murder

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(via surprisebitch)

celestial-sexhair:

cockroachsoup:

cockroachsoup:

cockroachsoup:

cockroachsoup:

cockroachsoup:

cockroachsoup:

do you think i could cook a s’more on the really hot part of my laptop

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I’m doing it

running two games in the background to cause laptop to heat up more

bottom of marshmallow is warm

the chocolate is soft enough that some comes off on my finger when touching it

it’s working

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the chocolate is melting

i touched it and that happened

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We did it kids

welcome to the internet

(via urgentcum)

joshhutchercat:

tryna come up with a good text post like

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(via tightvaginas)

officialundertaker:

illaminati:

mcporno:

there has never been a cool person called eugene

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(via cass-you-ass)

lameborghini:

lameborghini:

there’s a rumor going around my school that a girl in choir got suspended for fingering herself in class uh

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ur school wins

(via pizza)